Skip to main content

Boys don't cry

I can't imagine how a guy manages to keep his mouth shut while he's got a bunch of things to say in his head. While a woman can nag everything she wants to say, a guy can only nod or shook his head or even no response at all. Today was a roller coaster ride with him, and I saw him cry his heart out because of all the pressure he's been through. I didn't understand at first but when he started to let it all out I realized maybe I was adding up to the pressure he was feeling. 

There are things in life that we want but no matter how much we wanted it and no matter how hard we try just to achieve it sometimes it won't happen for some reasons. A lot would say maybe it's not for you, but I don't agree. Should be that it may be not for you for now, but later on when you will prove everyone including yourself on how much you deserve to have it sooner or later you'll have it. But it's easier said than done, I know. 

I realized now that I shouldn't be so hard on him. I know that he's doing the best that he can. I was looking at him while he was crying, I was so mad at myself. I was mad because I  wasn't able to read his mind, his feelings, his emotions. I 'm the only one he can open up to, and I wasn't able to let him to, I was just there nagging about how he's not doing enough, I did not think about what he's done already. That was an eye opener for me, to not be such a nagger anymore. I know it can't happen overnight, but I will try my very best to change that kind of attitude. Seeing him cry really tore my heart into pieces. I have to be there for him no matter what.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dear John

Something came to me this evening that I went on watching the movie "Dear John" again. I used to read that book over and over again until such time that it came out in film sometime in 2010. I was in Manila during that time it was showed in movie houses. I could relate, a little, because I was away from my long time boyfriend. We were about 3 years already, and during that time I was away because I choose to work in another city, though it's just a 1 hr and 20 min. ride in an airplane, we're still far from each other. In the movie, I felt how it was away from someone you love so much and someone you use to always be with in any time of the day. Though we were apart, communication was always present. I worked as a call center agent, so basically, I'm alive in the evening and stay dead asleep during daytime. I was not on the other side of the world but it felt like it. Familiar of the song "JET LAG" by Simple Plan and Natasha Bedingfield? It was exactly l...
Post a Comment
Read more

Life

I'm really not that kind of a fan with Nicholas Sparks, but somehow his books inspire me in so many ways. My boyfriend told me one time that I watch too much movies about love, life and pain because he thinks I get too emotional when I handle things about our relationship. I don't think I too am though. I just watched "The Vow" again, and that movie hurts me all the time, like very much. I get too emotional watching it, it's like it hurts me ten times more than the way it was intended by the author to let the readers/viewers feel about the story. I admire how the character, Leo, was able to handle the things that happened after the accident, after his wife lost her memory. Everything she knows about him were gone, and if it happened to me I could have just killed myself in disbelief. It wasn't that easy, it never was, to be able to see someone you love go and leave you behind, helpless with no one to help you get through it. "I choose to stay with h...
Post a Comment
Read more

Letting go

I've been staring at this blank page for a while already. It seems like I don't know where to start. I keep getting questions, why this and why that. Actually, I don't know what  happened. I got confused on the way things are going. It's not the first time that I thought about breaking up, I've been trying to open the subject many times already but somehow he managed to talk me out of it. The past six years was a roller coaster ride. It was fun. We've had ups and downs like any relationship does but never did we go to bed without fixing any problem we've had. It was the best six years of my life.  What I know is, when you're in a relationship this long, you have to always give more than what you always do. Sometimes, things get boring when you can't keep up with that scheme. I love him, I love our relationship, it means everything to me. But how can I keep on going when I know both of us cannot give anymore. Result is, we keep on disappoi...
Post a Comment
Read more