What's waiting for me?

I actually don't know where to start. I have so many things in mind right now but to sum it all up I just want change. Change in how I do and live my life.It might be just me, that I'm all exhausted and everything, that may be just it but when I come to think of it my life has been too stagnant for some time already. A long period of time I bet. I kind of want to add something new and exciting in my life but I don't know where to

actually start digging. It's a long a venue of life, I know. There's so much I think I can do but just can't.

I want to do something exceptional. I want to live with music. I want to be good in my craft. I wanna do something I am good at. I want to sing, I want to write songs, have my own concert take pictures, put up my own business, create something remarkable, influence people, be an example. I don't want to be someone people just look up to, I want more than that, something relevant. Thinking changing my course in life could be so hard. I wanna do something to make it happen, one step at a time, but doing that one little steps scares me. I'm afraid what people might think about me, afraid what mistakes I'd do, afraid that it's all just dreams that are meant to be in sleep and not in reality. I want to let people know what I know, feel what I feel and think what I think. Drive. Motivate. Push. Those are the things I feel I want so bad right now.

I guess I'm just gonna have to take a big leap to that. Conquering my fears and let go of what I feel. I know I can and I will, one day.

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Dear John

Something came to me this evening that I went on watching the movie "Dear John" again. I used to read that book over and over again until such time that it came out in film sometime in 2010. I was in Manila during that time it was showed in movie houses. I could relate, a little, because I was away from my long time boyfriend. We were about 3 years already, and during that time I was away because I choose to work in another city, though it's just a 1 hr and 20 min. ride in an airplane, we're still far from each other. In the movie, I felt how it was away from someone you love so much and someone you use to always be with in any time of the day. Though we were apart, communication was always present. I worked as a call center agent, so basically, I'm alive in the evening and stay dead asleep during daytime. I was not on the other side of the world but it felt like it. Familiar of the song "JET LAG" by Simple Plan and Natasha Bedingfield? It was exactly l...

In My Loneliness

I wonder what it would be like if I'm gone Would I feel anything? nothing? Would it be like floating around In the middle of the ocean, silently crying. I've been thinking a lot lately Most about my regrets I thought I didn't have any It turned out plenty I want to say sorry My two innocent ones I brought you in this misery That is not what I want Things look pretty in the outside but my mind and my soul Is a living hell I try to hide It swallows me whole They say to find that light but all I see is blurred and faded It's not that I've given up this fight That's just me, I can't change it.

Hearts

Chillin @ Starbucks Love isn't always the best thing for me before him. I always wanted someone to love me eversince but I never thought I'd find it in him. I don't know but I feel so secure with him. Last year, we weren't really together like we used to. I worked outside the city by then, in 9 months we only seen each other twice. And I find it so hard not to be with him I feel so empty. This was taken a year ago Now that we're already together for more than 4 years, I wish this is it. I wish that tis will be forever. xoxo -Angelie-

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