Letting go

I've been staring at this blank page for a while already. It seems like I don't know where to start. I keep getting questions, why this and why that. Actually, I don't know what  happened. I got confused on the way things are going. It's not the first time that I thought about breaking up, I've been trying to open the subject many times already but somehow he managed to talk me out of it. The past six years was a roller coaster ride. It was fun. We've had ups and downs like any relationship does but never did we go to bed without fixing any problem we've had. It was the best six years of my life. 

What I know is, when you're in a relationship this long, you have to always give more than what you always do. Sometimes, things get boring when you can't keep up with that scheme. I love him, I love our relationship, it means everything to me. But how can I keep on going when I know both of us cannot give anymore. Result is, we keep on disappointing each other, disagree on a lot of things, and argue almost all the time. I've come to realize that this is not healthy anymore, we need to get a way out of this madness and to me the only way is to give each other a break. A time to assess ourselves, on what we really want to happen with our lives, how we want it to happen and who we want to be with when that happens. 

Six years was never a joke, I loved him. In fact, I still love him. We still love each other and always will. We're doing this for our own good. I am aware of the fact that I am doing something really risky, I am doing something I KNOW I will regret for the rest of my life if it does not work out the way I want to. I haven't tried anything risky in my life. I'm always playing safe because I don't want to put myself into any trouble however this time I want to overcome that fear. How would I know if there's still something out there for me if I don't try, right? I don't want to just sit there and ask myself hundreds of "what if's"and then get answers like "maybe". Cliche as it might sound but I'd like to believe that if you're really meant to be together love will always find a way to bring you back to the one you love. Also, I already know he's my true love. This may hurt for some time, but I know time heals all wounds. We'll get over this pain and we'll move on, walking away with wonderful memories that no one can take away from us. Gee, talking about memories breaks my heart into million pieces. I am positive that someday things will be okay. I will still be happy if he's going to be  with another. As long as I know he's happy then I am as well. We all deserve someone better. 

I'm not sure about this but QUE SERA SERA. Let fate decide, for what we only have to do is go where life leads us.